


Rambo Training.... AKA The Pissing Contest

by fabulousweapon



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Drunkenness, Fabulousweapon Prompt Party fill, Gen, Paintball, Snipers, Teambuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-04
Updated: 2011-06-04
Packaged: 2017-10-20 03:18:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/208199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulousweapon/pseuds/fabulousweapon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only rated teen for language...</p><p>“You realize this is dangerous, right? Like the ninja wannabe is using fucking paintball to teach the rookie classified military strategy. And from the lack of noise, I’d say she’s doing pretty fucking well.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rambo Training.... AKA The Pissing Contest

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jenthetrulysly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenthetrulysly/gifts).



> Original prompt:  
> Paintball fic!.  
> Humour, Team Fic: the Five 0 team have some quality bonding time together on one of those paintball/guerilla warfare terrains, where Steve predictably goes all Rambo on them on them and gets really competitive with Kono his crazy protege while Chin and Danny shoot each other and watch the whole thing while sipping Longboards.

“I’d like to ask if they realize how pathetic this pissing contest is, but honestly I don’t think they’d care.” Danny tilts his head back, letting the warm beer trickle down his throat. “Not that we could, since you know…they’re gone.”

Chin just smiled. “You know that’s not gonna happen brah. I don’t even think they’ve noticed we quit.”

Danny looked around the clearing, realizing it was true. Rambo and Rambo Jr had vanished like Predator into the underbrush about three hours before. Chin and Danny had fun shooting at each other like a live action Virtua Cop, but the entertainment has worn off quickly after an hour with no sign of the rest of the team. So they’d kicked back with the cooler in a small clearing about the size of Danny’s apartment and chatted while finishing off all the beer the team had brought.

“You realize this is dangerous, right? Like the ninja wannabe is using fucking paintball to teach the rookie classified military strategy. And from the lack of noise, I’d say she’s doing pretty fucking well.”

Chin grinned proudly around his Longboard, shrugging before he answered. “Well, it’s better than we’ve done. Sad thing is they’re probably both perched up in sniper positions waiting for the other to slip up.”

The blond nodded in minor annoyance. He gestured toward the forest, spilling a little of his beer. “This would be a lot more interesting if something would happen. We haven’t even seen a damn bird since this all started. Not even like…a lizard.”

His friend tilted his head to stare at him, slumping a little more against the tree. “A lizard brah?”

“Yeah,” Danny looked back, body swaying a little too much as he turned to answer. “A little lizard…green skin, climbing his little tree. He’s leaving everyone else alone as he hunts for little buggies to give to his kid, except the evil bird comes and steal his kid away so that he can’t take care of her, and fucks everything up.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, before busting out laughing.

“Okay, I will fully admit I’m drunk at this point,” Danny smiled. “Let’s yell that this is over before I don’t even remember this stupid day.”

“It’s not like we drank that much, look there’s…” Chin trailed off staring at the empty cooler, “…okay, we may be drunk. Just don’t try to stand. I don’t think I can help you.”

They stared quietly at the jungle around them for a few minutes before Chin leaned over toward Danny. “Weren’t we gonna yell for them?”

“Oh!” Danny’s eyes widened. “Opps… I was looking for lizards.”

They sniggered, as Danny began to yell for the others. “C’mon Rambo and Ramboette! It’s time to get home and feed the drunken half of the team! Chin’s wasted and we need to get him home.”

“Bitch,” Chin couldn’t help but giggle which just set off Danny again. He began to haul himself up to try to walk around and look for his partner, but froze when he felt the unmistakable feel of a barrel pressed against his back.

“This,” he said, hands in the air and wide eyed, “is fucked up beyond belief rookie. I thought this was team building exercise. Not sacrifice the haole for the greater good of the local team.”

She ignored him, continuing to use the underbrush as a cover, and Danny as a human shield. “Come get him boss! You’ve got two minutes before he gets it!”

“He gets it?” Danny sputtered, trying to turn to face her as Chin gave in a crumpled to the ground laughing. “He gets it??? That’s the best you can come up with? Honestly, you are not the villain here. That is a villain line. He’s the villain because it was his fucking idea to come out and play live action GI Joes in one hundred degree weather as our ‘team bonding’ exercise.”

He twisted again to face Chin, creating an opening for a split second where Kono wasn’t covered. It was all his partner needed. Suddenly a shot cracked through the air, and the rookie was down, red soaking through the green of her vest and tee-shirt.

“FUCK!” she screamed, slamning her rifle down on the ground, face livid. “Two hours Danny. TWO HOURS it took me to hunt down his location, to figure out that the only place he’d be is where he could cover you! If you could have wait one more fucking second before moving I’d have located him!”

“Doubt that rookie.”

Danny heard the grin in Steve’s voice before he saw his partner who dropped from the canopy above, landing in a graceful roll before coming to his feet. The two drunk men just stared in shock, as Kono glared. He dusted off his shoulder casually, and picked up the single remaining beer.

“Steaks at my house? Or should we go out? Beer’s on Kono since she lost.”

“And Chin! He was on my team too!”

Steve shrugged, “He called forfeit two hours ago. Your team was just you, therefore the beer that will be bought is on just you. No one shot me.”

The loud crack was sudden and unexpected. The three men stared at Steve’s chest, where bright blue trailed down the camo covering his heart, then back where Kono was grinning. She slowly relaxed the rilfe.

“Now we’re even. First round’s on me. Second’s on you boss. You might wanna wash that off first though. You might now wanna, you know, let everyone know the rookie got you.”

Danny and Chin’s laughter echoed through the brush at Steve’s Aneurysm Face #37.

**Author's Note:**

> ALSO:  
> I'm still accepting prompts for my Prompt Party!  
> Here's the link if you want to submit yours:  
> http://fabulousweapon.livejournal.com/22486.html#cutid1


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